Dad's Living with Us, Now What? 

We are seeing a reemerging trend of older parents moving in with their adult children for a variety of reasons. Typical causes for the move are brought about by health issues, economic hardships and, as in your case, loneliness. As long as everyone is in agreement that dad living in the family homestead is a good thing, it’s a great solution for everyone. Your father still needs as much independence as he’s comfortable with. It’s a good idea to have an in-depth discussion about his desires, activities and support services with ADLs (activities of daily living). Inclusion in the community is important, as many seniors stay home continually and become depressed from lack of socialization. Being part of the family also means being included and having purpose, helping with basic chores around the home, as he’s able.

Sometimes there is a power struggle between family members and stress builds up. Make sure you have clear communication regarding responsibilities, expectations and even chores. Harmonious family living centers on everyone being in agreement on household rules and respectful behavior.

There are many aspects to aging well. Getting out in the community regularly, eating right, exercise (strength and balance) and correct management of medications are quite important. If you are close to a community complex, senior center, fitness facility or veteran’s group, you might find that these outlets are very good for your father’s health and outlook on life. He can socialize and build new friendships while remaining close to home. Usually these natural friendships grow strong, and the people in social groups support each other, oftentimes creating their own activities or small group outings.

Having a aging parent in your home can be a challenge, but it is also a blessing of bonus time with someone who was there for you who knows you value and love them.